Making friends in a new country is both exciting and challenging. In my first few weeks in Spain, I was so nervous to start conversations with new people due to my less-than-perfect Spanish skills and lack of understanding of the Spanish culture. I didn’t know how to make friends abroad, but when I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and started putting myself out there, I found a community of expats going through the same thing.

While it’s not easy starting over in a new country without a support system, it is so rewarding to build your community abroad. Here are a few practical tips to help you find your community in a new country.

Set Realistic Expectations

Some people get lucky and find their group immediately, and for others, it takes time. It’s normal to feel lonely or awkward at first, but give yourself a break — you just took a major leap and completely stepped outside of your comfort zone.

While you might expect to make friends right away and blend seamlessly into your new life abroad, those friendships often form slowly, and you have to be patient. Set realistic expectations and focus on creating quality friendships that add meaning and community to your life. Your people will find you!

Top Ways to Make Friends Abroad (That Actually Work)

Take a Local Class or Join a Hobby Group

• Attend a language exchange, cooking class, pottery class, or yoga class to find like-minded people. Platforms like Meetup or Facebook groups are extremely helpful if you want to find someone to go with you for the first time.

Say Yes to Everything (at Least to Start)

• Accept invites, even if they’re outside your comfort zone.
• Expats often bond over shared “newbie” experiences — don’t feel like you have to be a pro to say yes!

Use Digital Tools

• Don’t be afraid to use apps like Bumble BFF or Meetup to find new friend connections. These are extremely common in the international community.
• Social media is a great asset. Keep an eye on local influencers who may host in-person events, or join a Facebook group for expats. I joined the Madrid chapter of “Girls Gone International” and have met tons of great people through that channel!
• Through social media, you may also find that someone you knew from high school or college has also started a new life abroad. Don’t be afraid to reach out and reconnect!

Become a Regular

• Strike up a conversation with the barista or the person next to you in line. We have made our closest friends through running into each other in the neighborhood every day– pay attention to the people in your area and say hi!

Volunteer or Join a Cause

• Join a nonprofit or attend community events, volunteer at shelters, city cleanups, etc. These efforts are great for connecting with new people who share your values.

Make Friends Through Your Pet

• The only thing people love more than babies, is dogs. It’s a natural icebreaker, so if you have a dog, try to start a conversation at the dog park or go to dog-friendly cafes to meet new people.
• We love taking our dog to Ruda café — we always meet friendly new people, and they even make homemade healthy dog treats for your pup!

Making Local Friends vs. International Friends

In my experience in Spain, it is much, much harder to make local friends than it is to meet international friends. Spanish people have tight-knit friendship circles that are really hard to break into, so don’t beat yourself up if you find that most of your friends aren’t locals.

Be open to cross-cultural friendships and different social norms — these are all part of the international experience, and it makes your friendship that much more interesting.

How to Maintain Friendships

It’s easy to meet someone for a coffee, have a great time, then get too busy with daily life and not hang out with that person again. To avoid that happening, make sure to:

• Follow-up after the first meetup, connect on social media or exchange phone numbers and make future plans.
• Be the one to initiate plans — don’t wait to be invited. Consider hosting a potluck, bringing together individuals you’ve met into one gathering! It’s also a great way to bond over the similarities and differences between cultures.
• Be consistent with putting yourself out there, even when you don’t feel like it.
• Build it into your routine (weekly coffee walks, language exchanges, or brunch with new friend circles). For us, this looks like weekly Sunday night dinners with our closest friends!

What If You’re Introverted or Shy?

Here are some tips specifically for quieter personalities (like me):

• Join smaller, interest-based groups vs. loud bar scenes. Know yourself and what works best for you.
• Prioritize one-on-one hangouts versus big social events.
• Remind yourself to step outside your comfort zone, and know that connection is still possible in a foreign country.

Biggest Lessons I’ve Learned About Friendship Abroad

• Friendships can form in unexpected places.
• It takes effort — but it’s worth it when you make unique connections that last a lifetime.
• Let go of comparisons to your friendships “back home”. This will naturally look different, but not better/worse.
• Celebrate every small win, even if it’s just stepping outside your comfort zone and having coffee with someone new.

Final Thoughts: Finding Your People

Finding your community abroad can be tough, regardless of whether you’re moving by yourself or with your family/partner. I’d encourage you to let go of your preconceived expectations and not give up — it takes time to build true friendship from scratch.

Not only does it take immense courage to move abroad, but it also takes courage to be vulnerable with new people when you’re still trying to rebuild your life in a new country. Just remember that most of the people you’ll meet have likely gone through something similar and have empathy for where you may be in your journey abroad. Be open minded towards others, and I’m sure others will give you the same benefit.

If you’ve moved abroad, what was your experience with making friends in a new culture? If you’re still planning the big move, is this something you’re worried about?